I used to be very weak in studies and often failed exams. On the other hand, my siblings were toppers, and I constantly compared myself with them. I hated myself for not being like them. As time passed, I improved and thought, It won’t happen again. I won’t fail again.
But it did happen again.I felt so ashamed when I told my dad. For the first time, failing an exam really hurt because by then I had grown up and started understanding life. I promised myself it would never happen again. Yet after writing another exam, I feared I might fail once more (though I actually passed).
It was the day I realized how much I hated myself, how negative I had become, and how harshly I criticized myself. That day, I believed I was the biggest failure in my family. I thought I would never succeed, never be happy, and never love myself.
But it was also the day I told myself: I NEED TO CHANGE.
But how?
I began researching on how to fall in love with yourself. I never knew self-love could be so hard. But I also realized I’m not alone there are many others going through the same thing.
So today, I want to share the steps that helped me bring self-love into my life. These small changes created a huge impact and helped me see life through a positive lens.
How I Turned My Self-Hate into Self-Love (and How You Can Too)
- Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Every time you catch yourself comparing, pause and ask: “What am I proud of in myself today?” Start small. Write it down. You’ll slowly rewire your brain to see you.
I used to constantly compare myself to my siblings who were academic toppers, while I struggled just to pass. That comparison made me feel worthless. But the moment I stopped, I began to notice my own strengths like being emotionally aware, a good listener, and creative.
- Feed Your Mind Positive Content
Curate your social media. Follow people who inspire growth. Watch videos that lift you up. Replace one “scrolling” hour with one “nourishing” hour daily it makes a difference.
I slowly shifted from random scrolling to content that fed my soul. I followed creators who spoke about healing, self-worth, and self-care. Watching self-love vlogs or listening to gentle podcasts didn’t just pass time, it shaped my mindset. I remember trying self-pampering routines after watching a video and surprisingly, it made me feel seen and cared for.
Look in the mirror every morning and say: “You’re doing your best. I’m proud of you.” It might feel weird, but say it anyway. You’ll start to believe it.
At first, I felt silly to look in the mirror and say, “You are enough”. But over time, it started to work. Words carry energy, and I needed that encouragement from myself more than anyone else. Compliments from others are great, but the ones you give yourself? They stick deeper.
- Journaling: My Safe Space
This is my favourite part of my self-love journey.Journaling became like a friend one who listens without judgment. Whenever I felt low, sad, frustrated, or confused, that one piece of paper and pen helped me more than I expected. It didn’t matter if my writing was perfect, or if I used big words or followed any “method.” I just dumped my thoughts before going to sleep.It’s like emptying your mind, clearing out the noise so you can rest peacefully. I personally felt lighter, calmer, and more understood after every journaling session.
You can start with just one sentence at night. Ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now?” and let the words flow. It doesn’t have to make sense, your heart will thank you anyway.
Of course, not everyone enjoys writing and that’s okay. If journaling isn’t your thing, talk to someone you trust. There are people out there who will listen and understand. Just choose wisely. Protect your energy, but don’t keep everything bottled up.
- Set Boundaries and Protect Your Energy
This was tough. I used to say “yes” to everything, even when it drained me because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. But saying “no” when something exhausted me became a radical act of self-respect.
I started choosing myself by refusing things, people, tasks, or situations that made me feel tired, overwhelmed, or unhappy. And instead of feeling guilty about it, I began to see it as an important and empowering way of respecting my own needs and energy.
You too can Practice saying: “I’m not available for that right now.” Or, “I need time for myself.” You don’t owe anyone an explanation when protecting your peace.
Setting boundaries didn’t mean I stopped caring about others, it meant I started caring about me.
- Morning Walks and the Magic of Stillness
When I started going for morning walks every day, I actually felt a shift, not just in my routine, but in my mood. My days began to feel fresher and lighter.
I would step out without my phone, no noise, no distractions. Just the sound of birds chirping, the cool morning air brushing against my face, and the gentle warmth of the rising sun on my skin. It felt peaceful.Those quiet walks became a way for me to reconnect with myself before the world could rush in.
Taking time to care for yourself isn't selfish, it's necessary.
You don’t need fancy products or a big budget to pamper yourself. Skincare doesn’t mean spending thousands, it can be as simple as using home remedies or affordable products that suit you.
I began treating myself the way I wished others would treat me with care. Whether it was oiling my hair, doing my skincare routine slowly, or sipping chai in my balcony while watching the sky. I started doing things just for me.
I stopped waiting for someone else to treat me right. Instead, I began showing up for myself in small, loving ways.
You can choose one simple self-care ritual for yourself like a long shower, hair oiling, journaling, or painting your nails. Do it for your soul, not for Instagram.
- Changing My Music Changed My Energy
We all know music can shift our mood but I didn’t realize how much it could shape my entire day.I used to listen to only slow, emotional songs. And honestly, I started feeling like my life matched that vibe. Heavy, quiet, and a little stuck.
I know it sounds strange, and it’s hard to explain, but my playlist was influencing how I felt without me even noticing.
One day, I switched things up and started listening to high-energy, feel-good music, songs that made me want to move, sing, or smile. And it actually worked. I felt more energetic, more alive. My day suddenly had a different rhythm.
I’m not saying you should stop listening to slow songs. They’re still beautiful and comforting when you need peace (I still listen to them too). But balance them with music that lifts you up.Start your day with a song that makes you want to dance, you’ll be surprised how much it can change your mood.
Conclusion: Love Yourself
These are the small steps I took that completely changed the way I see myself. You don’t have to do everything at once. Start with baby steps. Pick one habit, practice it for a week, let it become part of your routine and then move on to the next. Trust the process. It works.
It took me a year to fall in love with myself.
When I look back now, I feel proud. I’ve come a long way. And today, I’ve proven to myself that life is truly beautiful, especially when we learn to love ourselves.
I can finally say with a full heart:
I love myself.❤️
And so can you.
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